POTUS tries to communicate via mind warp with his alien siblings
For years, skeptics and sheeple have been trying to debunk the facts surrounding ancient aliens and their origins and influence over society. Basically, these people claim that the ancient aliens who so clearly and without doubt have echoed through our history simply aren’t real- let alone a major part of how society works today.
Despite their blatant ignorance in the face of the facts, we have continued to battle with them over the way that these creatures have manipulated evidence-sometimes, admittedly, very plausibly- to create a reality where people just can’t seem to get their heads around the idea that there could-indeed, be something more.
Luckily, we’ve finally found irrefutable evidence that our reasoning was correct all along. You may remember, a couple of years ago, there was a great to-do about whether a certain president of the United States was, indeed, American. Many of the bleeding-heart liberal sheeple defended his origins, claiming that it was nothing but a ploy by our republican allies to destabilize his position of power. Eventually, the issue was simply pushed under the rug, with the production of a spurious “birth certificate” (which, if you looked at it closely, was clearly printed on the back of a Russian McDonald’s receipt). The issue was basically ignored, with the sheeple just deciding to go on following their leader despite having no real idea where he came from. At least then, we assumed that he was just from outside America- but what if he was, in fact, from outside Earth?
While most people assumed that the demands for a birth certificate were to authenticate his American citizenship, we can now reveal that our crusading brothers in the tea party and beyond were trying to expose a much more discomforting truth. We were quickly able to ascertain that the birth certificate was faked (for one, what kind of POTUS would want to be from Hawaii?) and that his origins were actually from beyond this Earth.
The specific nature of his origins is not yet known. However, we can be sure that the intergalactic president will be planning to bring members of his own race down to earth soon. His references to changing immigration isn’t just a reference to what kind of people will be allowed on American soil, but rather is sowing the seeds for the arrival of the rest of his species, which we can only assume are wafting above Earth in a spaceship as we type. Yet another instance where we were right all along.