Magic potion goes in here
Wizards (not the cool kind) disguised as homeopaths have recently declared the world as healed.
Methods used? Leuticum (Or Syph) potion of course. Made from the dust of pixie wings and unicorn horns flushed straight down the toilet bowel. Alternatively, sprinkled into the ocean.
TLP was first alerted to this historical global event by Quackometer. A website dedicated to the monotonous task of metering the decibel rating of duck quacks. Or something like that.
See for yourselves the global request and instructions for healing below:
Courtesy of Quackometer.net
A Homeopathic expert we found on Facebook who calls himself Harold The Healer tells TLP he thinks Grace DaSilva-Hill used incorrect amounts of unicorn horns to pixie wing dust because as Harry put it ‘the world is still fucked-up, man’.
TLP investigative reporters have spoken with several key experts on the topic of world peace and they appear to concur with Mr. Healers comments.
“Just look at Ferguson Missouri, Ukraine and death squads like ISIS. Until we can defeat things like war, starvation and Kim Jong-un’s fasination with Nuclear Weapons and African American Basket Ballers, world peace shall not be proclaimed” said an old Nepalese sage we interviewed via carrier pigeon from his home, a dark and cold cave that smells of urine and feces.
Grace DaSilva-Hill, may the peaceful spirit of the albino dolphins carry you and your honorable cause to it’s final destination, for world peace is truly a great human problem that you have attempted to solve.