A friend alerted me to a great Lad Bible Facebook post of a woman that appears to be an escaped mental patient or out on early release for good behaviour telling people about her Monster Energy Drink theory. Please understand we are not medical professionals and our diagnosis may be slightly off. Take a look and judge for yourself.

Lets break the video down before we have a jolly old laugh at some of the funnier memes people are posting on The Lad Bible’s Facebook page in response to the video.

Firstly, monster lady managed to find the numbers 666 cleverly embedded into the Monster Energy Drink logo (there are a bunch of these crackpot theories online) and somehow connected this with the Hebrew alphabet. Personally TLP thought it was simple marketing 101 and supposed to resemble the monstrous energy tearing through the can.

Then monster lady displays her project sketches and other random crap on the back of a cardboard box (presumably what she was working on prior to her early release). She explains how Monster Energy Drink cannot be a Christian company because they refer to some of their big fucking cans as “Big Fucking Cans” and because MILF’s (Mom’s I’d Like to Fuck) enjoy the drink…

…naturally there is also an upside down cross which is probably supposed to do something messed up and turn all of the little brats who consume it into Regan like demons straight out of The Exorcist, maybe, we can only assume because she didn’t elaborate. Demonic Superpowers in a can…a’la Monster Energy?

I’d love to be a fly on the wall over at the Blue Sky Beverage Company when the product manager for the energy drink attempts to pitch this one to the marketing manager and other execs.

“So I thought we would attempt to unleash the demon god Satan onto the world today with our perfectly branded Monster Energy Drink. As it turns out, recent polls suggest it is the most well suited energy drink for the upcoming zombie apocalypse…”

Now, those memes we promised you…

…Meanwhile

Monster Energy Executives are laughing their asses off and making it rain dolla billz!

The post Fanatical Christian Woman Finds Satanic Hebrew Message in Monster Energy Drink appeared first on The Lizard People.

The following images reveal pets and animals (Perhaps even insects?) aligned with secret societies such as the Illuminati, Freemasons and Crossfit.

1. Sabatic Goat Chihuahua

Chihuahua’s have always been evil ankle biting scum! Little did we know that they engage in satanic rituals and are assimilating sabatic demon goats.

2. Freemason Dog

The next time you see a dog poking it’s head through a fence you should consider if that is all the dog is doing…or if it is potentially trying to signal its loyalty to the Freemason’s.

3. Illuminati Cat

Perfectly shaped Illuminati triangle ears? Don’t be so gullible.

4. American Football Illuminati Dog

What does the NFL, Barack Obama and a dog have in common? That’s right an allegiance to the Illuminati and the NWO.

5. Flying BlackMagic Dog Attack

This German Shepherd is attacking a soldier with what can only be described as black magic powers flight powers. Obviously it has done many despicable things in order to be awarded demonic powers from the elite.

6. Illuminati Bees

Bees caught forming hives shaped exactly like Justin Biebers perfectly formed hexagon head. Bieber is Illuminati! By the way, did you notice this phtot looks like Miley Cyrus? Now if you tell me neither of them has anything to do with these illuminatus clans, then please…no really…just piss off!

7. Symbolic Leg Separation Cat

This cat seems like it’s relaxing. Look a little closer and you can see this highly intelligent creature has just been reading the newspaper and is now openly communicating with its Bilderberg Illuminati scum feline cohorts.

8. KKK Seagull

The word Seagull has six letters, half of six is three. KKK is three letters. This seagull is KKK. Also they look the same.

9. Secret Service Dog

This badge seems like a regular K9 unit badge, but lets compare it to this secret service badge for a moment. Both are star shaped and both have circles at the end of each vertex. Why would they hide the fact that this dog works for the secret service? Well duh! Its Illuminati!

10. Shape shifting CIA Dog

This dog was caught in the act. Likely a reptilian agent of doom. Notice the glasses and military scarf look eerily similar…

The post These 10 Animals Are Illuminati appeared first on The Lizard People.