It has long been suspected that mankind had a hand in creating the AIDS epidemic. Some say it was engineered by the CIA to wipe out the world’s homosexuals and African Americans, others that it is actually caused by the very drugs that are supposed to treat the disease.

And now, as if one attempt to wipe out half the human race wasn’t enough, it is very possible that the Ebola virus was not started by fruit bats at all. In fact, new information suggests that it was dingbats in a fast food laboratory. According to a technician at the top secret Columbus University of Nutritional Technology, scientists were trying to reverse engineer the delicious Taco Bell burrito when something went horribly wrong.

“We were trying to recreate that exquisite taste and texture under strict laboratory conditions,” said Dwight Lefou, currently of no fixed abode. “We knew that there could be risk involved and I swear we took all possible precautions. We thought we’d nailed it, but instead we seem to have unleashed hell on earth.”

For obvious reasons, the whistleblower has been met with cries of derision from the scientific community, not least because there’s no proof the U.N.T actually exists. He has been dismissed by many as an unstable alcoholic with an axe to grind which, ironically, was exactly the reason quoted by a previous employer for firing him. However, he remains resolute in his belief that his team accidentally created the Doomsday Virus in their quest for the ultimate snack treat.

“Just think about it,” he frequently tells anyone who will listen. “There are just too many similarities for it to be coincidence. Both Ebola and Burrito come from exotic locations and no one is sure which animals are involved. They both cause high temperature, severe stomach cramps and, in many cases, bleeding from the anus.

“There’s no known cure. In both cases it’s a matter of consuming lots of liquids and hoping for the worst to pass quickly. If you’re lucky there isn’t too much long term damage. And finally, it is when the victim is at the height of their suffering that they are most dangerous to those closest to them. Admittedly, the mortality rate for Ebola is 50-90%, so that makes it a little more fatal than Taco Bell, but the signs are all there.”

When asked the obvious question as to how the virus crossed the considerable distance between Africa and his American lab, Lefou simply took a swig from a brown paper bag, mumbling something about an African vacation taken by one of his superiors who had “a thing for monkeys”.

A dangerous drunk? Or a maverick scientist trying to atone for bringing the human race to the brink of extermination? You decide…

The post Ebola Was Fast Food Research Accident appeared first on The Lizard People.

The story of the mysterious white flags has got The Internet all fired up.

The most likely culprits, in order from most likely to least likely:

• CIA psyop to distract Americans while they pour cancer viruses into the drinking water and loot bank accounts prior to the takeover of the government by Mexico
• Symbolic surrender to the Aliens
• Russians

Who do you think it was?

We asked twitter.

Who Put the White Flags on the Brooklyn Bridge? http://t.co/euc2z1WrP9
— TheLizardPeople (@TheLizardPPL) July 24, 2014

No one responded. So, we did what any normal clued up truther would do.  We asked Mr. Bombastic himself, Shaggy.

@DiRealShaggy Brooklyn Bridge. White flags. Was it you?
— TheLizardPeople (@TheLizardPPL) July 24, 2014

Shaggy has not responded… officially.

We did some investigating and found a video online. The video features Shaggy repeatedly singing the words “It wasn’t me” but of course, it is disguised behind a music video about his friend who apparently got caught cheating on his girlfriend… it is still unknown how Shaggy managed to post this video in the year 2000. Some truthers are suggesting that Shaggy either has direct access to a time portal himself or his friends in the CIA & Illuminati lords have loaned him one.

Well played Shaggy.

Comment who you think it was below.

p.s. serious suggestions only please. Anyone making stupid comments about skateboarders, prankster teenagers or PR stunts will be dealt with swiftly.

The post Who Put the White Flags on the Brooklyn Bridge? appeared first on The Lizard People.

Google’s July 9 World Cup Doodle seems fun and friendly at first with “aliens” watching from “above”, but thats only to the untrained eyes of regular citizens who prefer to mill around going to their “jobs” and never questioning the seemingly mundane symbols of day to day life, or at least not questioning deep enough.

Is that really a fun Google Doodle or is it an ominous image of something truly sinister?

One only has to use Google’s product the humble secret spy mechanism AKA search engine to uncover how evil and connected to outer worldly powers Google truly is.

For example as mentioned above, the first sign of Google’s evilness is when you type the phrase “Who was Google funded by?” into it’s search engine you will be prompted before even finishing your search and hitting the search button to change the word ‘funded’ to ‘founded’ by Google’s live spell check, even though the word was not spelt incorrectly.

After completing your search you will be prompted yet again by Google’s own search engine feature called “Did you mean:” to search for something slightly less questionable…

Did you mean: who was google founded by?

Hmm, what on Earth could Google possibly be hiding?

Could it be the fact that Google was bankrolled by the CIA, as documented by many highly legitimate online sources and that the CIA were in fact enrolled from the very beginning to act as ET’s local news outpost and communications hub here on Earth!

Of course not! How dare we question mighty Google…

Right?

Wrong!

Google is an evil empire that has been controlled by alien overlords and has been spying on you ever since the very beginning? And what is their Alien motive you ask?

Well what else… is it not blindly obvious as this image tells us, they want to use Earth as a playground, or better yet…a HUNTING GROUND.

We warned you here first folks.

Spread the news.

The post Google Openly Declares Earth as ‘Playground’ for Aliens appeared first on The Lizard People.