A friend alerted me to a great Lad Bible Facebook post of a woman that appears to be an escaped mental patient or out on early release for good behaviour telling people about her Monster Energy Drink theory. Please understand we are not medical professionals and our diagnosis may be slightly off. Take a look and judge for yourself.

Lets break the video down before we have a jolly old laugh at some of the funnier memes people are posting on The Lad Bible’s Facebook page in response to the video.

Firstly, monster lady managed to find the numbers 666 cleverly embedded into the Monster Energy Drink logo (there are a bunch of these crackpot theories online) and somehow connected this with the Hebrew alphabet. Personally TLP thought it was simple marketing 101 and supposed to resemble the monstrous energy tearing through the can.

Then monster lady displays her project sketches and other random crap on the back of a cardboard box (presumably what she was working on prior to her early release). She explains how Monster Energy Drink cannot be a Christian company because they refer to some of their big fucking cans as “Big Fucking Cans” and because MILF’s (Mom’s I’d Like to Fuck) enjoy the drink…

…naturally there is also an upside down cross which is probably supposed to do something messed up and turn all of the little brats who consume it into Regan like demons straight out of The Exorcist, maybe, we can only assume because she didn’t elaborate. Demonic Superpowers in a can…a’la Monster Energy?

I’d love to be a fly on the wall over at the Blue Sky Beverage Company when the product manager for the energy drink attempts to pitch this one to the marketing manager and other execs.

“So I thought we would attempt to unleash the demon god Satan onto the world today with our perfectly branded Monster Energy Drink. As it turns out, recent polls suggest it is the most well suited energy drink for the upcoming zombie apocalypse…”

Now, those memes we promised you…

…Meanwhile

Monster Energy Executives are laughing their asses off and making it rain dolla billz!

The post Fanatical Christian Woman Finds Satanic Hebrew Message in Monster Energy Drink appeared first on The Lizard People.

Those curls do not look natural

The story goes that Athena Doyle thought the Illuminati was trying to kill her whole family. So what’s a girl to do?

Like any sensible modern day woman Athena takes to Facebook and posts a massive rant not unlike regular folk do regarding more monotonous things like the last piece of toilet paper or that Rex the dog barfed inside again.

Athena has 1 crazy friend that likes her rant and 1 reasonable friend that does the normal thing

Athena’s car was later found upside down at the bottom of a 300 foot hill. Doyle and her two sons where airlifted to hospital. The two young boys have since been discharged, no one saw what happened *queue twilight zone music* but the cops decided to arrest her bat shit crazy ass anyway. That should keep her safe from the Illuminati, but we’re not so sure about the fat and hairy bull dykes in prison.

Whats the harm in crazy conspiracy theories right?

More on this story here.

The post Conspiracy Theorist Woman Drives Her Two Sons off a Cliff…Because Illuminati – Thats Why appeared first on The Lizard People.

Up until now, it’s likely that you thought the term “sheeple” was just an amusing catch-all phrase for the uninitiated who play by the illuminati’s rules and go through life without questioning any of the “normal” things that happen to them on a daily basis. But you’d be wrong.

Sheeple are a vital part to the continued existence of the illuminati. And while we know that they themselves are lizards concealed in human clothing, who could have guessed that they’d would extend this grotesque act of toying with nature on to those who so blindly follow them?

Sheeple or Sheople, once a word used to call out those who would not admit that they might be wrong despite being faced with strenuous and important evidence to the contrary, may be moving out of internet chatrooms. Apparently, the lizard overlords will be attempting to create actual “sheeple”- a genetic blend of human and sheep.

Early reports seemed to liken to arrival of sheep and other livestock to the [name redacted] illuminati headquarters-disguised as the warehouse for an offal and fried foodstuff restaurant- to similar incidents recorded during MK-ULTRA. However, it soon become clear that there was a far more sinister reason for their arrival.

Aware of their scientifically shady past, one of our investigators went into the restaurant undercover, using the cloak of a filet mignon with sauce béarnaise and a glass of the house red to deflect attention from an investigation that, while dangerous, could be disastrous for the lizard people if it were successful. While he was unable to get into the kitchen, he reported hearing much clatter and noise from behind the counter, mixed with occasional outbursts of hissing and spitting noises- possibly the leaders communicating in their natural form.

One of the most important clues he picked up on was the disposition of the servers- as the night wore on, they grew increasingly quiet and continued repeating the same phrases over and over again with seemingly no understanding of what was coming out of their mouths.

Remind you of anything?

Try Sheeple: the realization of an automaton race of intellectually dull drones who will presumably be able to carry out manual labour when the illuminati choose to overthrow the planet. While they bore no direct physical resemblance to sheep (hooves, elongated muzzle, etc), our investigator was sure to note that one of them had excessively fluffy hair.

Watch out- the sheeple are rising.

The post Sinister Plan Reveals Real-Life Sheeple appeared first on The Lizard People.

The following images reveal pets and animals (Perhaps even insects?) aligned with secret societies such as the Illuminati, Freemasons and Crossfit.

1. Sabatic Goat Chihuahua

Chihuahua’s have always been evil ankle biting scum! Little did we know that they engage in satanic rituals and are assimilating sabatic demon goats.

2. Freemason Dog

The next time you see a dog poking it’s head through a fence you should consider if that is all the dog is doing…or if it is potentially trying to signal its loyalty to the Freemason’s.

3. Illuminati Cat

Perfectly shaped Illuminati triangle ears? Don’t be so gullible.

4. American Football Illuminati Dog

What does the NFL, Barack Obama and a dog have in common? That’s right an allegiance to the Illuminati and the NWO.

5. Flying BlackMagic Dog Attack

This German Shepherd is attacking a soldier with what can only be described as black magic powers flight powers. Obviously it has done many despicable things in order to be awarded demonic powers from the elite.

6. Illuminati Bees

Bees caught forming hives shaped exactly like Justin Biebers perfectly formed hexagon head. Bieber is Illuminati! By the way, did you notice this phtot looks like Miley Cyrus? Now if you tell me neither of them has anything to do with these illuminatus clans, then please…no really…just piss off!

7. Symbolic Leg Separation Cat

This cat seems like it’s relaxing. Look a little closer and you can see this highly intelligent creature has just been reading the newspaper and is now openly communicating with its Bilderberg Illuminati scum feline cohorts.

8. KKK Seagull

The word Seagull has six letters, half of six is three. KKK is three letters. This seagull is KKK. Also they look the same.

9. Secret Service Dog

This badge seems like a regular K9 unit badge, but lets compare it to this secret service badge for a moment. Both are star shaped and both have circles at the end of each vertex. Why would they hide the fact that this dog works for the secret service? Well duh! Its Illuminati!

10. Shape shifting CIA Dog

This dog was caught in the act. Likely a reptilian agent of doom. Notice the glasses and military scarf look eerily similar…

The post These 10 Animals Are Illuminati appeared first on The Lizard People.

Unless you’ve been living in a cave on Mars you will have heard of the Ice Bucket Challenge. Of course, THEY insist that it is supposed to be a fun way to raise money for good causes. However, to those of us in the know, it is obviously an exercise in mass brainwashing on a scale never before seen.

And from the beginning, certain members of the rich and famous were taking part. Bill Gates’ homemade contraption was one of the reasons the whole thing went viral so quickly, and several other alleged Illuminati have also allowed themselves to be iced. But why? The Challenge is often humiliating and these people already have all the publicity they need, so why are ‘the great and the good’ getting involved?

Many conspiracy theorists have been “just asking questions”, as they do. F**k knows who they’ve been asking, though, as their possibilities range from Satanic rituals to the cleansing of the American population in preparation for mass sacrifice. But what if the real explanation isn’t quite as much fun as all that? What if, as some seem to believe, the Illuminati have cracked one of history’s most sought after secrets?

The secret of Alchemy.

A quick Wiki search will tell you that alchemists spent their lives trying to turn base metals into gold. They were also heavily involved in aqua vitae, the ‘water of life’, which was used for baptisms.

Water. Gold.

Water…into gold?

Could it be possible that the Illuminati managed to combine two alchemical pursuits and have discovered a way to turn water into gold? Think about it. Many of these celebrities are high up in so-called charitable organisations. They take the raw material, some water, chant a few words and then douse themselves. Next, susceptible sheeple across the globe are doing the same thing without really knowing why. Before long, enough water to drench half of Africa has been poured into the ground.

And every time the water falls, green gold is created in a charity’s account.

After that the real magic occurs. Only a fraction of that green gold actually helps people. The rest is ‘disappeared’ into occult practises such as advertising and lobbying, as well as enriching the executives who are begging for money in the first place. And, just like magicians throughout the ages, they’re doing it under our very noses while daring us to spot where they’re hiding the Ace.

The post The True Secret of the Ice Bucket Challenge Revealed appeared first on The Lizard People.

The official reports are in folks.

No one cares about the New World Order and it is struggling to warp the minds of young people all over the planet.

Sam Kasper a global political expert and man with a solid mustache told TLP that after extensive research over the last 100 years of history ‘it is clear, they (the NWO) are kind of struggling’.

Mr Kasper went on to point out that certain world events like World War 1, followed by World War 2, the Vietnam war, the Congo war, the many Russian civil wars and conflicts they have had with their neighbours, as well as all of the wars in Afghanistan and of course the recent turd fights in Gaza and the Ukraine show clearly the NWO are ‘not doing as well as the Internet is making out’.

‘Kim Jong-Un, is doing a much better job in the race for world domination and world order.

Recent polls show he is still leading in his home town of North Korea where he routinely uses tactics straight out of the CIA psyop playbook but that his popularity overseas is also growing with fans such as South Park and Dennis Rodman’.

Below is a list of popular organizations and stuff the NWO has to deal with in order to gain control of ‘World Order’.

• Jihadi warriors wanting to take over the world
• Russians
• North Koreans
• 1.3 billion Chinese people
• 1.2 billion Indian people
• Internet cats and web trolls
• All cute animals in general
• Babies
• Rebel teenagers
• Cool music bands

‘Although the list is quite extensive, if they just put their heads down and their bums up. they could potentially hit realistic targets in the first quarter of this century which would mean satisfying some investors such as Her Majesty the Queen and The Annunaki.’

TLP did a quick freestyle Vox Pop outside our office’s today. We asked 3 sets of very different people a couple of questions about the NWO, see what they had to say below:

Young skater dude in his teens

Have you ever heard of the New World Order?
F*ck off bro.
The NWO?
The NWO can suck my balls bro! You too!

30 year old office worker guy

Have you ever heard of the New World Order?
What are you serious? I was around back when they first started in the WCW, back before all that WWF stuff. Man those guys rule, they made wrestling cool again.
OK. Have you ever heard of the NWO, like the real NWO, the ones that want to take over planet Earth and rule supreme for ever and ever and ever?
Ughhh… can I Google it?

Old lady

Hi ma’am have you ever heard of the New World Order?
The wah ha?
The-New-World-Order ma’am!
Oh…! Is that the one with the guy on that show? I remember him. My niece Nancy once dated a Jewish guy that looked kind of like him. He was a Jew though, you know, with the tiny hat…

Over and out…

The post New World Order Struggling for World Order appeared first on The Lizard People.

The illuminati is now targeting street youth and urban culture with their campaigns for world domination. We think.

The Lizard People were recently contacted by a concerned street hipster from New York city who took the above photo on his way to have his beard shampooed, of what can only be described as all seeing eye graffiti.

The trend setting hipster told us “I’m usually cool with grafitti, not illuminati graffiti, it gives off a kind of weird vibe and I just want everybody to know that this is not what New York City street culture is all about, i’ll probably end up moving if this continues”.

In compiling this report we found many examples of illuminati like symbolism on the walls of various urban hot spots:

Death skeleton, the illuminati love death

More all seeing eyes, notice the subtle pyramid shape on the left hand side

More all seeing eyes, they are truly obsessed, it’s disgusting

It’s not all doom gloom however. The truth movement is fighting back with their own urban tactical graffiti strategy. Below we found this one symbolic stop sign.

The Illuminati are probably stepping up their game plan for complete world domination and have more than likely built strong ties to street youths whom they are targeting with endless supplies of money in order to spread their demonic message.

They must be paying them handsomely, because of all the people we questioned, none would talk.

The post Illuminati Symbolism Coming to a Wall near YOU! appeared first on The Lizard People.

We are sad to report that a Malaysian Airlines flight has been apparently shot down above one of the disputed Ukrainian and Russian territories.

Our sincere thoughts go out to the families affected.

Currently the news coming out of Europe is that Russian separatists have shot the airliner down. It is not clear at this stage whether the apparent attack was intentional or not or if it even happened.

Always question everything folks.

Those questions that need to be answered?

Was the plane really shot down? Because currently the evidence is lacking and both sides of the disputed area are pointing the finger at one another and with no real evidence to show of any rockets or missiles being fired. The question lingers….and as usual, no one in the mainstream media has even considered the very real threat of aliens.

No rockets, no missiles – think about it! LASERS!

If the Russians shot it down like the mainstream media is suggesting, what is the purpose or was it an accident?

The fact remains that the previous Malaysia Airlines flight MH370 has never been found.

Some are calling this a sad and bizarre coincidence.

Not truthers. We know something is array.

A wicked game is at play.

The real question we are wondering, are sheeple really that gullible? To believe that this is some sort of bizarre coincidence… c’mon.

There is something sinister going on.

Website illuminatiwatcher.com reports, more than likely this crash has something to do with the illuminati and likely aliens. The flight was after all a Boeing 777. With 7 being a favoured number of the illuminati elite such as Alistair Crowley, The Queen and notorious reptilian infidel Barack Obama.

We did some serious investigation online these last few minutes and have found a litany of exceptional citizen reporting.

Mostly it is coming out of truther web forum Above Top Secret and a very highly informative subreddit just take a look at some of the posts below. The ‘7’ signs are truly starting to creep us out here at The Lizard People and so is the talk of 20 pound pigeon/chickens.

Stay tuned folks, this one is going to get seriously weird and creepy. We would not be surprised if an all out alien battle breaks out.

UPDATE: 19th July 2014

GlobalNews.ca is reporting that the bodies of those on flight MH17 were ‘dead, drained of blood and decomposed days before the crash.’ For this to have happened all of the victims families must have been drugged or put into some kind of psychological trance keeping them from remembering that their family members were gone days before their flight and coincidentally, where did the plane take off from? Amsterdam.

Amsterdam is famous for its legal use of marijuana and magic mushrooms.

More than likely the families of the victims in Holland were all doped up on weed by secret Dutch psyop agents working for ‘the powers that and be’ then brainwashed them into believing their family members had departed four months later than the real real time and date they had actually left.

It is still unknown at this stage why family members of the victims not in Holland are also experiencing the exact same psychological effects, so far the theory is that a mass collective resonance of brain frequencies has happened, somehow.

Lets also consider the fact that this plane was loaded with attendees headed for a major AIDS conference in Melbourne, Australia…. for all we know the cure for AIDS was on that plane and big pharma stepped up to the plate to squash the rebellious competition.

Could this have been the same plane? Of course it could have.

This has got FALSE FLAG WORLD GOVERNMENT SECRET ILLUMINATI PSYOP written all over it folks!

If you’re not already trembling in your boots, you should be!

The post Crashed Malaysia Flight MH17 – Coincidence or Illuminati? appeared first on The Lizard People.